The Wise Use of Time

I've been thinking about time a lot lately. That's probably because I have oodles and oodles of it right now. 

“Every day, every hour, every minute of your span of mortal years must sometime be accounted for. And it is in this life that you walk by faith and prove yourself able to choose good over evil, right over wrong, enduring happiness over mere amusement. And your eternal reward will be according to your choosing." 

That is a quote from Elder Richard L. Evans, and it can really help in crunch moments. Will I choose enduring happiness or mere amusement? It's a good question. 

So, time is precious. We ought to safeguard it. But why? 

I think it's tied up in the whole idea of Stewardship with a healthy dose of Consecration thrown in.

When we realize that this life is not ours, that it's a gift, and that we are entrusted with tasks of enormous responsibility, we are more likely to treat time nicely.

And as my friend Josh White just barely said, "Wasted Time is Wasted Personality." 

It's true! You could be developing something about you. 

So, Jarom. Next semester...I really want you to develop a lot of good habits. A lot of good time management habits! I want you to read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens and apply what you learn.

And I want you to realize that the key to self-growth is doing ONE THING different TODAY! And making a habit of it.

So, today... I will plan my time realistically and use it realistically. 

Tragedy

Lately, I have been very afraid. What if my mother should die, or my father should die? 

First of all, I think if either of them died, my real and immediate reaction would be rejoicing. They both are such good people, with such difficult, trying lives. I think of all the weight lifted off my mother's strong yet exhausted shoulders, or the suffocating pressure removed from my father's loyal yet tense mind, and I think of just how wonderful it will be for them to enter into that white light and the beautiful feeling of well done, my good and faithful servant. Thou has fought the good fight. Come now into my rest. 

You see, the Savior cannot prevent all tragedy in this life. Tragedy, sorrow, hurt, is all a part of this life. But it's a necessary part. And I know that every prayer is effective, if not in preventing sorrow, then shielding us from hurt, from despair, from emptiness. The Savior is light and life and vibrance, and He can fill the emptiest of hearts, light the darkest off souls. 

It requires a humble heart and a knee bended in prayer. It requires real determination and full, wholehearted surrender to the care of your Heavenly Father. But for these lofty prices, an even loftier gift of love and care are given. 

One women lost her father at an early age, and experienced the Savior's protecting love. Now, instead of fearing the loss of her own children and husband, she says that "when I see them, I rejoice in the peace and knowledge that every sorrow, trial, and challenge in their lives can bring with it greater faith, new witnesses, and wonderful miracles. I rejoice in the profound certainty that when they need something beyond what my husband and I can give them, they will be protected, consoled, and saved, just as I was." 

Is God out to get us? Yes.

What is this thing that men call death? 

A young man yesterday asked the question, "if God loves us, why did He make the world so full of dangerous, sharp, scary things that can kill us?" 

The answer is simple: Because God has it in for you. God eventually wants you to die. 

We are children of our Heavenly Father, on a temporary study abroad here on this foreign planet we call earth. But we are not meant to stay here forever. As Russell M. Nelson said, "Before embarking on any journey, we like to have some assurance of a round-trip ticket."

In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were immortal, and would have lived forever. God knew that this would not do. He wanted us to be able to die so that we could return to His presence. So, He prepared a fallen world full of lightning, trips and falls, diseases, and etc. 

Alma 40 discusses in detail what becomes of the spirit after death. 

"Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life." (Alma 40:11) 

C.S. Lewis says that for every longing, there is a fulfillment. People have hunger, well, there is such a thing as food. People have a reproductive drive, well, there is such a thing as the procreative act. People have a longing to live, then there must be such a thing as eternal life. Death is scary for us because we cannot see the other side. Death seems like the ultimate tragedy to us, much as a small child carrying an ice cream cone is convinced that the worst thing that could ever happen to him would be to drop the delicious scoop of mint brownie onto the concrete. But the child (and we) are mistakenly short-sighed. In the eternal perspective, death is as significant as the dropping of an ice cream cone, it's just one more experience and step on our path to become beings either divine or demonic. 

Entertainment

Welcome to Entertainment World where we entertain you slowly to death. Spiritual death.

Batman, Guardians of the Galaxy, Jurassic World, and Thor 2. What do all these movies have in common? The fact that Jarom has seen them in the last 2 months. 

Since moving to Russia, Jarom has had more opportunity to immerse himself in Media than ever before. It's readily available, it's something to fill the long empty hours with, and he's treated like "one of the boys" whenever he agrees to watch The Dark Knight with his buddies. 

 But Jarom's not sure he likes it. 

"It's harmless fun!" people say. One of my friends even has a phrase. "Good wholesome violence," as in "I liked World War Z because of the good wholesome violence." 

Where is Jarom going to draw his line? What's going to be his standard on media? 

The church has published a pamphlet entitled For the Strength of Youth. It's designed to protect us against losing the Spirit and making dangerous spiritual choices.

The chief measuring stick seems to be the Spirit. "Select only media that uplifts you," instructs the pamphlet, understanding that when you are uplifted, the Spirit is present. 

I've staged endless debates with myself over what some of the more specific guidelines mean, but I keep coming back to the Spirit. Moroni explains it well here: 

 13 But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God.

 15 For behold, my brethren, it is given unto you to judge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night.

Choose wisely. Pray for discernment. Realize that it's not fun to have fun if the Spirit leaves. 

Prayin' up a storm.

What sort of things can we pray about? (From Alma 34)

• Call upon God's name for mercy!
• Call upon Him when you are in your fields! (at work)
• Cry unto Him over your flocks! (Temporal and financial stewardships.) 
• Cry unto Him in your household! Both morning, mid-day and evening! (Regarding family matters.) 
• Interesting, that this is the only area we are given specific instructions about. Jarom, one way you can be a blessing in the life of your future wife and children is to pray daily, multiple times, for their deliverance, health, and Spiritual Strength. 
• Cry unto Him over your crops (Financial holdings) THAT THEY MAY INCREASE.
• God wants us to be prosperous! Just keep your heart lowly and your pocketbook open! 
• Pour our your Soul in secret places, in your closets, and in the wilderness.
• And this is not all! We also ought to be continually praying for the welfare of those around us. 

I have this friend named Josh. I love him to death, but he loves to talk about politics and all the scary things happening in the world.

I admit that it makes me uncomfortable. Doubly uncomfortable because 1) I know he's right, and 2) I don't want to think about it because it does not invite the Spirit.

I have been unsettled about this for a few days. But this morning, I was reading the scriptures, and I realized that He's got the whole world in His hands. 

The world is not out of control. God is in control. This is not some aberration of the plan. This is the fulfillment of God's plan. He is in total control, and He will provide for those who trust Him! 

I felt so helpless, that there was nothing I can do in the face of economic uncertainty, political corruption, and rampant statism. But I was wrong. There IS something I can do.

Live the gospel with all my heart, might, mind and strength. Serve my neighbor. Love God. Go to the temple. Do my family history work. Teach my children to resist the devil and serve the Lord.

That is what you can do, Jarom.

Question: Why do we even have choices? 

Answer: Because agency is very important to God

Question: Why is agency very important to God? 

Answer: Because He wants us to be independent decision makers, able to make good choices without compulsion. 

Question: Why does He want us to be good decision makers? 

Answer: Because sometime, He is going to hand us Eternal Power, and say, "Ok, Go be gods and goddesses and make worlds and rule galaxies." And there is not going to be any supervision. 

I assume that nobody advises God on what is right and wrong. No offense to Lyndon B. Johnson, but the buck really DOES stop here.  God doesn't have recourse to calling some Heavenly Help Hotline and asking, "Ok, so, how exactly should I react to 1/3 of my children rebelling against this plan of salvation?" 

He has to make the decision Himself.

In a billion or so god-years, we will be under the same pressure. And so God is carefully training us to take that power. 

And so God gives us this incredible power of agency. 

Insert comic strip here. 

Skeptic #1 "Some gift, God! Thanks!" 

Skeptic #2 "No joke... what good has ever come out of giving mankind agency?" 

Skeptic #1 "Wars, rape, genocide, Bruce/Caitlinn Jenner... the list could go on." 

They have a point. People regularly use their agency to create mega-sized messes of their own lives (sad) and of other people's lives. (tragic.) 

What kind of Father would take His children from a safe, happy, simple environment where choices are relatively black and white, and thrust them down to an unhappy, confusing, temptation-rife world, ruled over by a sadistic and malicious trickester and his horde of demon-liars? Has God abandoned us? 

No. 

So what's the catch? 

Limited Agency. 

Giving our agency back to God. 

God understands that it's a two-edged sword. If He gives us too MUCH supervision, we lose all the advantages of living in a world as semi-independent spiritual teenagers. If He gives us too LITTLE supervision, even those of us with great intentions would make a real mess of our lives and bring misery upon ourselves and others. 

So, He solves it in a very simple and elegant way. He gives us (practically) unlimited agency, with the guarantee that we're going to mess up. And then, once we're sick of messing up and being miserable, He makes us an offer. "I gave you your agency," He says, "now, give it back to me, and I'll show you how to use it." 

The teachings of the gospel regulate an incredibly wide variety of things in our lives. Here's a brief list of things that the gospel instructs us on. 

• Diet
• Clothing
• Time Management
• Media
• Reading selection
• Love
• Marriage 
• Dating 
• Education 
• Interpersonal Relationships
• Budgeting 
• Exercise 
• Parenting...

In fact, that's one of the things that is often so repugnant to people investigating the church... the seemingly endless lists of prohibitions, restrictions, instructions, and rules. 

But it's a trick, really. God tricks us. Because as soon as we get to the point where we say, "OK, God, I'm sick of doing things my way! I want to do things your way!" and we start following all those long lists of rules, we find out that they don't really regulate as much of life as we thought they did! 

It's almost exactly like a sneaky, silly trick. God says, "give me your whole will," and we fight and pout and complain and procrastinate until it's too painful to resist anymore. And so, we humble ourselves and say, "All right! My will is yours, Heavenly Father. Tell me what to do." 

And He smiles, and doesn't tell us anything! 

Right at the moment when you give up your whole will to God is the very moment when He starts trusting you to make your own decisions! Isn't that weird? 

Why is that? 

I think it goes back to Heavenly Father's original purposes. 

God knows we need the chance to make good choices, but those choices have to be our good choices, not his good choices. So, He gets us to the point where we really, really have a desire to do right. He pounds us with trials until our souls really desire goodness.  We have this desire to choose the right... and the He requires us to SEARCH for the right choice. He requires us to read the scriptures, apply logic and life experience, and counsel with people older and wiser than us. 

The commandments are really training wheels. They're difficult, but once you master them, God expects you to do many things of your own free will. It's sort of like the 400 level courses in college. A lot more freedom, but also a lot more responsibility. 

So, how do we educate our desires? Well, for a long time, God would tell me what the right choice was.  FOR EVERYTHING. Between the ages of 17 to 21, I prayed about everything in my life, and 94% of the time, I got a clear, unambiguous answer. 

And then I got home from my mission. BAM. Iron curtain. I still prayed about everything in my life, but I only got answers about 30% of the time. 

I have a few theories about this. 

It's almost as if I received so many right answers that I know what a right answer feels like. I don't need a heavy-handed confirmation. 

For example, if you are trying to teach a child to recognize a cow, and they ask you "is this a cow?" then maybe they'll get it wrong about 30 or so times. "No, that's a Dalmation." But kids are smart, and after the 300th cow, you will probably stop answering, because they've correctly identified 239 cows in a row, and they darn well know themselves that YES IT IS A COW. 

So, congratulations! The silence does not mean God isn't answering. It means He trusts you. 

You know why I love and trust God? 

I used to have moments like this all the time. It was nice to be reminded what pure and simple faith really feels like. Love you, Heavenly Father! Thou art so sweet! 

~Happiness~

Yesterday, I had a difficult day. I was definitely not happy. 

The unhappiest part of my unhappiness was the fact that I had tried so hard all day to be good! I had fasted, worked hard at work, written nice notes to people, loved my neighbor, kept my thoughts pure, controlled how much I ate, and I still wasn't happy. 

I want to be happy. And I suppose I believe the promise in D&C 130: 20-21.

"There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated-- 

And whenever we obtain any blessing, it is by obedience to the law upon which it is predicated." 

So, what are the laws upon which happiness is predicated? How can I obey these laws so as to secure happiness for myself and my loved ones? 

"And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and HAPPY state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it." (Mosiah 2:41)

It looks like there isn't a single commandment programmed "for general happiness." It looks like we are expected to keep "the commandmentS" (plural) of God. 

This makes sense. Just like a single pill cannot make a person healthy, a single commandment cannot keep a person happy. You need a wide variety of nutrients from a variety of foods in order to remain healthy. And you need a wide variety of spiritual nourishment from a variety of commandments to remain happy. 

LDS.org points out that God's plan is a plan of happiness. It says that "Our happiness is the design of all the blessings He gives us—gospel teachings, commandments, priesthood ordinances, family relationships, prophets, temples, the beauties of creation, and even the opportunity to experience adversity."

Let's look at some of these blessings.

• Gospel Teachings: Give us correct knowledge and truths about the world and plan of salvation which we live in. Helps us know what is right and wrong.
• Commandments: Keep us safe from harmful distractions or traps set by the adversary. (with a little a, because satan is a loser.) 
• Priesthood Ordinances: Give us strength and cleanse us from past mistakes. Also make it possible for us to live forever with our loved ones. 
• Family Relationships: Loving families are perhaps the biggest blessing on earth, besides the Atonement. Families are the Divine Pattern for Happiness. 
• Prophets: Lead us! Guide us! Help us to spot new tricks and traps in the adversary's arsenal. 
• Temples: Teach us about the wonders of eternity. Help us know our true heritage and potential. Provide a holy place to conduct priesthood ordinances. 
• The Beauties of Creation. 

I mean, really, who isn't grateful for this?

• The Opportunity to Experience Adversity: This is a tricky one. I'll write about this later, because it's something I've learned very thoroughly over the last year, but trust me: adversity is a blessing, and it leads to happiness and strength. 

But what if you are doing all those things, and you still aren't happy? 

Is the promise still true? 

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. (Romans 8:18) 

For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? 

 But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. (Romans 8:24-25) 

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 

 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 

Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8: 35, 38-39)

Thank you, Paul.

Hold on! Happiness is right around the corner.

What is Charity?

Charity....

Charity is a gift from Heaven.

Suffereth Long... 
Is Kind...
Envieth Not...
Is Not Puffed Up...
Is Not Easily Provoked...
Thinketh No Evil...
Rejoiceth Not In Iniquity...
Rejoiceth In The Truth...
Beareth All Things...
Believeth All Things...
Hopeth All Things...
Endureth All Things...

I need to memorize this list.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God;  (Moroni 7:48)

Love of God is bestowed on us. It is not earned, developed, learned, or found. It is a gift from heaven. 

"For they shall be filled." 

One thing I have noticed in me is a lack of spiritual hunger. There is an increasing attitude of apathy towards spiritual things. Living the gospel is a habit, not a passion. Scripture study is a chore, not a joy. Spiritual promptings are greeted with groans, and not with gratitude. 

I wish to be (as Christ instructed) one of those who "hunger and thirst after righteousness." (Matthew 5:6) I want it to be the main desire of my heart. And I know I can accomplish this, but it will take (as King Benjamin said) a lot of fasting and prayer to overcome the natural man and his earthly passions. 

 For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child,submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father. (Mosiah, 3:19)

But what's the blessing? "Blessed are they," promises Christ, "For they shall be filled." (Matthew 5:6) 

Empty Life

I've been thinking a lot about joining the military lately. Anyone well-acquainted with Jarom will tell you this is an unusual decision for me, but I think it has an understandable cause.

You see, recently I got an office job. 8 hours a day in front of a computer. And while I really, really enjoy my work, I sometimes wake up dreading life. Once you settle down into the routine of your week, there's unfortunately little to look forward to.

"Oh good! I get to wake up at six, read my scriptures, go for a run, and then go to work and come home! Just like yesterday! And the day before yesterday... and the day before...."

*Sigh. Oh dear.

I also had an interesting chat with my atheist friend, Aleks. He claims that committing yourself to a relationship actually makes you less happy. "Surely you've noticed," Aleks said, as we passed Red Square on our left, "Surely you've noticed that as soon as you get really close to a person, they start demanding more of you, and giving less. They seem to take you for granted."

In the midst of our stroll, I was forced to agree with him. That is how human nature seems to work, unfortunately.

Both of these problems have a common root, and a common answer. And as always, the gospel is the answer.

Mormon could tell you something about an awful life of dull routine and routine betrayal. He was subjected to endless wars between two nations who hated each other and themselves. And yet, he penned these beautiful words to the saints in the twilight era of Nephite civilization.

"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth." 
(Moroni 7:41) 

What a beautiful thought! Human relationships might fail to satisfy, daily life might fail to satisfy, but charity NEVER faileth. 

We haven't time to fully define charity. I advise you to read the chapter.

People are the spice of life. But as Aleks said, there is a natural tendency to harden to those we become intimate with.

BUT 'TIS NOT ALWAYS SO.

I have a few people in my life who have always treated me like gold, no matter how close we are. I have a few people in my life who really are unfailingly kind, and they are those people who are real disciples of Christ and radiate that constant, unfailing charity. 

Aleks, you are right. It is human nature to take people for granted. But it is not God's nature. And if we rely on God's love, our love will never, ever fail.

Charity also fixes our problem of dull routine. If you feel that your life is dry and tasteless, remember that the fruit of the tree of life is most sweet above all that [was] ever before tasted. (1 Nephi 8:11) 

The fruit of the tree is the love of Jesus Christ, and I testify that Charity never faileth, but can fill the emptiest life, and the most disappointing relationship with endless joy, enchantment, and satisfaction, if only we will cast aside our own little pathetic love, and rely on the perfect, unfailing love of Christ.

Point #2: Jesus Christ is our Savior

2nd Nephi 26:8

Behold, doth he cry unto any, saying: Depart from me? Behold, I say unto you, nay; but he saith: come unto me all ye ends of the earth, buy milk and honey, without money and without price. 

We break laws, Justice demands we be punished and a price of pain extracted for our disobedience. Christ took all pain upon Himself, thus enabling Him to pay for our sins.

So, if we are willing, He can pay the price for us, even if we have no money.

He can pay the price for us.

This morning I was wondering why Jesus was important. What's the big deal with the Man from Galilee? I understand He was full of good advice, lived a pretty exemplary life, but is He really deserving of worship? 

I came across some verses in the Book of Mormon which helped me understand. 

And the angel again said unto me: Behold, and see the condescension of God.

(1st Nephi  11:26) 

That's why Jesus is important. Because He's actually a God, and "the love of God... is the most desirable above all things." (Verse 22) 

So, that's why Jesus is important. He's not just a nice person, or wise teacher. He's God. And He loves you. That's pretty special, now isn't it? 

The LOVE--->SERVICE cycle.

Have you ever wondered why a diligent parent has an almost unnatural love for their child? Modern relationship theory would tell us that in a relationship, there is a give-and-take exchange. You love people because they help you, others love you because you help them.

This is certainly true. But how can it be true, for instance, in the case of a mother with a newborn baby? The mother spends a great deal of time doing miserable task for the baby: birthing it, feeding it, waking up at 3:00 to change the squalling infant's diaper, etc, etc.

So then why is the love of a mother for her newborn child supernaturally strong? There is no reciprocity in this relationship. The infant does not meet any of the mother's needs, and does not love the mother. Indeed, the infant probably doesn't even realize for the first few weeks that the mother even exists as a separate, individual life-form.

This is due to what I would like to call the LOVE--->SERVICE cycle.

The love/service cycle is simple: When we love somebody, we serve them. When we serve them, our love grows stronger. When our love grows stronger we serve them more intensely.... and it goes on and on.

We see this cycle in relationships, in communities, and even on a national scale.

This is real, Christ-like love. We don't love and give because we want something in return. We give because we love, and then we love all the more for the giving.